Queer Bodies

by Audrey Forman

Written & Directed by Audrey Forman
Based on the poem “Queer Bodies” by Marylyn Tan
Young Woman: Kaylani Guadart
Doc Martens Girl: Kennedy Niyah Hill
Exotic Lesbian: Sam Gajardo
Man 1: Ryan Sommers
Man 2: Estefan Granucci

“Queer Bodies” originated from the poem of the same title, a captivating piece in Marylyn Tan’s Singapore Literature Prize-winning poetry collection, Gaze Back. Her ground-breaking poetry embraces female power and pleasure, and the poem “Queer Bodies” is no different.

Written in Python coding language, it’s a mechanical breakdown of the beauty standards and social norms encoded in queer women by heterosexual relationship standards (which stem from the male gaze). This broken code infiltrated femme-queer communities and left us with binaries and stereotypes to guide our attraction and desire.

As a queer artist, I felt extremely connected to this poem and the isolating truth behind it. For most of my life, I felt a sense of longing for clarity in my sexuality and for comfort in a welcoming community. When I came out, those feelings lingered. And then they worsened. I was filled with even more self-doubt and insecurity. I learned about compulsory heterosexuality—the theory that society coerces women into thinking any interaction with a man must be sexual or romantic. I realized that, even as a queer woman, there is no escaping the impossible standards perpetuated by the male gaze. Every thought, every feeling of desire, every moment of my queer experience felt dictated by the male gaze. When I read Tan’s poem, I felt seen. Understood. And was hit with a painful validation. Why doesn’t anyone else talk about this part of the queer experience? And where is the hope in this journey? I couldn’t help but adapt the poem to my own experiences. In my video, I kept the fact that men controlled the narrative, but wove in a glimmer of hope for queer women and our community.

I believe that it’s possible to break the oppressive code that is so deeply ingrained in women and find solace in those who understand the confusing journey that queerness takes us on. And what better mantra to heal ourselves and our queer communities than “Gaze Back,” an homage to Tan and a reminder that it’s possible for queer women to exist in a community that is free from the authoritative code that is the male gaze.

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Audrey Forman is a queer actress and director from Los Angeles. She is a recent graduate from the University of Southern California with a BFA in acting. Additionally, she’s previously studied at the Royal Academy for Dramatic Arts and University of North Carolina School for the Arts. Most recently, she directed “The Fire at the Edge of the Earth,” a play that crosses the boundaries of mythic and modern to articulate the complicated facets of young queer love. She is also the artistic director of Eight-Ball Theatre, a collective of artists who create accessible, fresh theater that reflects their diverse community.

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